I recently received an email from a colleague of mine. Its a short little story entitled," God's Boxes" That email got me reflecting and thinking some. How true it is...

God's Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes,
Which God gave me to hold.
He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black box,
And all your joys in the gold."

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes,
Both my joys and sorrows I stored,
But though the gold became heavier each day,
The black was as light as before.

With curiosity, I opened the black,
I wanted to find out why,
And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole,
Which my sorrows had fallen out by.

I showed the hole to God, and mused,
"I wonder where my sorrows could be!"
He smiled a gentle smile and said,
"My child, they're all here with me.."

I asked God, why He gave me the boxes,
Why the gold and the black with the hole?
"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,
The black is for you to let go."

I have highlighted the last sentence cos its just sssooo fucking true! Most of us know what exactly we should be doing, but really getting down to doing it is really another thing altogether. Indeed, it is always easy to tell people or even ourselves "to let go" but more than half the time, its really is easier said than done.

The same goes for the opposite. Many of us are simply just NOT contented with the things we have in life. We keep hankering after the things we think do not have, which is not bad altogether, but sadly, as we pursue the things we think we lack, we fail to realise and treasure the things that are already ours, which is just as important.

Just the other day, my colleague was telling me about a friend of hers whos facing some relationship problems and how she also dunno how to help her. This friend of hers have been with her bf for seven years plus now, and apparently, the relationship is almost as good as dead, but because she is the typical over-reliant on bf kinda gal, she finds it impossible to cut lose.

Which reminds me of something a friend used to tell me, "One should never be too comfortable with anything or anyone"

A little digression.

Back to my colleague's friend. Well, according to my colleague, this gal is overly possessive, takes bf for granted, low self-confidence/esteem, neurotic and well, you probably guessed it, she has little or no trust for the relationship and maybe even herself.

The ironic part is that the bf is a typical SNAG, who WAS nice to her, quite good looking, has talents, money, career and all. And so, one could have guessed, it was HER treatments towards him that caused him to be totally fed up and give up.

Now, one thing about this guy is that he is fucking straightforward and honest about his feelings, thoughts, intentions and actions if you ask him straight that is. ( I admire him, really.) He had his fair share of straying and admitted to them and it seems, he was just keeping his options open.

Well, to cut the story short, he initiated a breakup (several times I think) and of course, the gal refused and BEGGED him to stay. They are now still together because he still has some feelings for her, but will eventually break up with her when he finds the right one whom he wants to settle down with. (This whole sentence was actually quoted directly from him, what he told the gal exactly).

Apparently, my colleague's friend refused to move on, asking for 2nd chance (this is the dunno how many "2nd chance"), promises to change, etc, etc, etc. And what is she hoping for? A second chance from the guy HOPING that he will one day change his mind and settle down with her instead.

Now how silly is that? -_-

She told my colleague that well, she is too reliant on him (for the past 7 plus years) and CANNOT live without him. And so, my colleague told her that in that case, the ONLY option is to turn a blind eye to some or most of the stuff he does. "But I can't!! and you make me wonder if you are a woman" -_-

Seriously. NOT all women are possessive can? In fact, the gals I know, only a couple of them are possessive, and not to that extreme also.

A little illustration about my colleague's friend.

How silly. But she isn't alone. There are alot, in fact, many gals are like that. Well, maybe not as extreme as her, but its just as bad. Anyways.

Back to letting go. Letting go is easier said than done, and that's universal knowledge. I always believe that some people, no, in fact there's a bit in all of us, that makes us addicted/attracted to misery, and do NOT want to get out of it, and most of the time, its subconscious.

When being in love means being in pain. We all know that the most logical thing to do is to let go/cut off/move on etc. Again, easier said than done, and so, many choose to continue being in pain, cos they feel that at least they are still in love. (How deluding.) Why? Because it is easier. Really. Its not easy being strong, and not many can do it on their own, which is of course, not suprising.

Of course there are some who are indeed stronger and takes a relatively shorter time to decide that they want out, ecover and such, but MOST of us (gals especially) can't, and so we hang on, hoping, and believing that we are able to change the man of our lives. Big Mistake.

Most gals make the mistake of believing that they have the ability to change the person they so loved. And many more believe that if "he loves me, surely he can change for me?" Sounds familiar?

Seriously, "IF HE LOVED YOU" do you think its even going to be any issue? Think not.

Well, people, if they wanna change, they will, on their own that is. After NUMEROUS such experiences, I have learnt if a person does not want to listen, then there is absolutely no point in telling/advising them what they should or should not be doing, cos they will only find you a nuisance. When they have sorted out their own thoughts, they will automatically know what to or what they want to do.

What's love? Two words: it's difficult. Sigh. Sometimes just by looking at the people around me suffering, I wonder if its really what I'll ever want afterall. It's difficult to pick it up, just as difficult to stay together, and even more difficult to let go. -_-

Anyways. I'll sum it up with a quote that I think is pretty true: "True love is like ghosts, which everybody talk about, but few have seen."