"Miserere mei, Deus...": weight

Showing posts with label weight. Show all posts

Starting from scratch...

11:27 PM | Coda: marathon, random, running, weight

So, in about less than a week, I will be running MY LAST EVENT OF THE YEAR. Gah. Enough already. I have gone through 7 conferences in the past 6 months! I'm about to vomit at the word "conference".

I'm so looking forward to a time of eat alot, and exercise ALOT more after the last event. Am probably going to clear all my leaves and timeoffs and park myself at east coast park EVERYDAY to run.

I'm no longer as fit as I was last year really. My stamina for long distances is gone. I need to start from scratch to slowly build it up. Last week's 5 km run was not good. The lungs hurt and I had to stop and walk along the way. This week is better, 6km non-stop, but in shorter time too. Not good enough of cos since I have a half marathon to complete next week. But at least its an improvement!

Can't wait to begin a lifestyle of work-exercise balance! I really really need to lose weight already.

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A runner's fuel = Anger, Frustration, Embarrassment.

7:07 PM | Coda: marathon, running, weight

Today is an emotional day for me.

About half a year ago, I took part in my first ever marathon with the Adidas Sundown Marathon. Honestly, I still didn't know why I did since I was never fond of running all my life, nor did I have the stamina for it.

Needless to say, I have never attempted any distance more than 15 km in my life, nor ever took part in any form of walking races, let alone the running ones.

Well, some of you would remember that I had a bad fall which pretty put me out of exercise for a good couple of months, so I really did not train for it at all.

As many already know, I did not manage to complete my first marathon. I was in excruciating pain during the last 15 odd km when my hamstring totally contracted and stiffened making even walking at a pace of 1km per 15 mins painful to say the very least.

I only managed to do 38 km before I hopped on the shutter bus for the last runners. It was very disappointing to say the very least. So in less than an hour after that marathon, I made the decision to do the Standard Chartered Marathon simply because I HAD TO complete 42 km at least once in my lifetime.

So, today's the day of the Standard Chartered Marathon. I was never a fan of exercising in the sun, so I wasn't quite sure what to expect with this. Nonetheless, I was excited tho I must say, I didn't quite train much for this either.

The race was flagged off by Minister for Foreign Affairs, Mr. George Yeo, and I must say, the race started with a high. The adrenaline and energy surrounding Orchard road was just contagious.

I know this picture is totally out of focus. It was difficult to run and take a picture at the same time, stopping isn't allowed. Anyways.

I haven't ran for 3 weeks before the marathon. In part due to the weather and also fear of security running at night with all the recent seemingly random slashing going around. I did feel that my stamina was a tad off, but it's alright since I'm in it to finish it, not score a personal best.

I actually thought that the Standchart's measurements are a little off, my device tracking my distance via GPS seem to be 2.5km ahead of standchart's one. Anyhow, the first 8 km or so was quite a good run, with random strangers cheering us on on the sides.

I started pacing myself and alternating my runs from the 10km mark onwards. Courtesy of experience, I've learnt to respect the distance. I totally do not want a repeat of that acute muscle cramps like 6 months ago. So I started taking it slowly, running then walking and so on.

The halfway mark after what seemed like eternity.

Anyway, to cut a 42km long story short, I didn't feel quite as smashed as my first marathon. Again, courtesy of experience, I brought my pain relief balm which worked WONDERS and I think helped in not letting the slow nagging hamstring strain to escalate into a full blown cramp like last time.

Finally at 30 km. The last 12 km was T.O.U.G.H.

I walked a great deal, with totally swollen feet and terribly painful soles under the unforgiving sun and I totally got sun burned BIG TIME. :( My bad I didn't wear sunblock. The worst thing is, the unforgiving SCORCHING HOT sun happened at a stretch where there was totally NO temporary shade for relief at the LAST 4KM.

Man, that was the LONGEST 4 km of my life. I must say that the sun took a toll on me though, somewhere into the last 3km, I had a mental breakdown before the physical breakdown even happened.

I was angst, irritated and ever ready to give up thinking that the world is conspiring against me to make sure I don't complete on time. And then I started to cry. -_-

I remembered thinking to myself that crying takes up even more energy (which is so scarce by now) so I "talked" myself into resting against a road divider and applying even more pain relief balm before continuing.

Anyways, I FINALLY managed to complete my FULL 42.195km marathon within the 8 hours cutoff time! I actually arrived FOUR MINUTES before the cutoff time, and I totally ran, to the finish line, not walk nor crawl!

Could not take a picture when I raced past the finish line. I don't remember ever being this excited about seeing the word "finish" as today!

When I crossed the finish line, I was ecstatic! I totally broke down and wept! It was such an emotional moment in my life!

Tadah! "Pain is temporary. Pride is forever!" :D

Time to go nurse my badly battered poor old body. ;(

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Memoir of a fat overweight gal

1:17 AM | Coda: weight

At about 7 months ago, I was 9kg heavier than I am today. Yes, I was at my ~~fattest~~ heaviest that I have ever been at that time.

The massive weight gain happened about 1.5 years ago, when I had a job change. The new job wasn't working out well and I was under alot of stress. So I took to eating. ALOT. I put on a total of *gasp* 12kg in 6 months time.

Yes, you heard it right. 6 months. Even right now when I look back, I shudder to think how did I even allow myself to put on that much weight?! It obviously didn't happen overnight, I did eat a massive amount to get there.

I didn't just eat alot, I OVERATE. I got to the point where eating becomes no longer enjoyable as after each meal, I felt like throwing up. The weight gain came pretty quickly, and to make matters worse, I was in delusion.

As you can imagine, as a result, 12kg happened.

Over the course of time, I did think of working off those extra weight. I really did. Everyone around me was telling me I put on alot of weight. But somehow, I never got down to really working hard for it. I was lazy, skip one or two meals, and expect to lose some weight. I haven't even thought of going to the gym or doing any form of exercise!

Seeing the negligible effort to curb my diet didn't do anything at all to my weight, I gave up and decided that its not going to work.

And I continued to eat.

I actually asked many of my church mates to pray for me for successful weight loss but of course, I didn't really believe I will actually lose weight and started to entertain self-defeating thoughts like, "you'll never make it", "you are destined to be fat", and so forth and not long later, I actually stop believing I will EVER lose weight.

It wasn't suprising that during this time, self esteem, morale, self-believe hit an all time low. Clothes have started to get too small, way too small, and because I refused to buy new ones lest I get comfortable in my "new weight", I had lesser and lesser clothes to wear.

And then I stopped taking photos, and hated being a part of any form of group photos, not because I was anti-social, but because EVERY ANGLE I TOOK, MY FACE (ok, and everywhere else) LOOK FAT AND ROUND!

It got so bad to the extent that I started to make detours whenever I happened to bump into people from my past. Old friends, classmates, ex-colleagues, because I cannot bear having them gasp and being mortified by my massive weight gain.

So at approximately after 1.5 years of living in misery, I finally decided to do something about it. My colleague Celia actually took me out on my virgin 30 mins non-stop run around our office vicinity and encouraged me loads during that run. I must say that first run almost killed me. But I'm glad I stuck it through, cos after that run, I started trying out longer distances.

I have Celia to thank for that really.

Running when you have not exercised for so long is definitely tough. Being overweight made it harder. My lungs threatened to shut down and my heart felt as if it was about to collapse, and the legs...

I walked like a crab the next day.

And then I started to control my diet. Words cannot begin to describe how terrible and miserable that made me. You see, food to me has got a high emotional value. I eat when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm angry.. hell, I even eat in despair.

Eating brings my mood up. Each day at work, especially when its been a tough day, just thinking what I want to have for lunch or dinner makes me happy.

And of course, there was my favorite sweetened drinks. Bubble Tea!! I used to drink a few cups per day. So all that had to go. I started eating lesser quantities, finishing only 3/4 of what I would usually eat, and I stopped the bubble teas, lemon teas, teh-c bings, and what nots.

During that period, miserable took on a whole new different meaning for me. I literally lost the will to live. I remember one day when my colleague went down to buy coffee, he asked around the office if anybody wanted anything. I so wanted, but I couldn't of course, I totally felt like crying.

I lunch away from everybody else cos I brought my own wholemeal bread, apples and what nots, I simply couldn't sit with a group of people having bar chor mee, char kway teow or chicken rice for lunch.

I even did the Kelloggs Special K diet and tried my darnest to stick to 2 meals a day on that. I gave up on the 2nd day. Because by the morning of the 2nd day, out of a total of 4 meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner and then breakfast again) I have had Kelloggs Special K for 3 meals. I wanted to puke.

I gave that up (I still eat it only for breakfast though) and occasionally allowed myself to eat proper meals like fish bee hoon soup. I would finish 3/4 and then pretend I had my fill while the remaining food stares at me and inside me claws at me to eat on.

And then I started to increase my frequency of exercise. I was dang motivated by Obama, who despite having the biggest job in the world, was able to keep a 6 day a week exercise routine. Busy is no longer an excuse man. I can't possibly be busier than the president of the United States of America, can I?

I started exercising 4 times a week, once a week short jogs, once a week gym, and twice a week I do my long distance jogs of at least 6 - 7km.

And then the weight loss started to happen. 1kg by 1kg, I was ecstatic!

I must say weight loss is addictive, after losing the first few kilos, you just keep wanting to go at it. Week after week, my weight drop, I would buy a new pair of pants that fit comfortably, and then 2 weekends later, its too loose.

I can literally get out of my old jeans without unbuttoning and unzipping it! :D

Fast-forward to today, some of the lessons I took from this weight-gain-loss lesson:

It's not about how tough it is to lose x amount of kg, it's how badly you want to lose weight
Forget the shortcuts, the ONLY way/formula that works in weight loss is "SHEER BRUTE HARD WORK"
As with many other things in life, exercise, diet and weight control is about discipline, once you let slip that one time, it's easier to have a second, and a third and you know the story.

I am of course still about 4kg to go from where I started putting on the weight, but I am definitely working on it. Although I must say, my diet is not as extreme as when I started out.

So, to all those out there who are struggling with weight issues, keep pressing on, and don't be afraid to work hard for it. Weight loss IS definitely possible. It's about not how tough it is, it's how badly you want to.

Oh, and most importantly, don't ever, ever, ever, EVER allow yourself to get to that point where weight loss is tough, start doing SOMETHING when you start gaining weight.

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My SINFUL week

12:25 AM | Coda: weight

I spent a super duper sinful week... Did loads and loads of shopping (till I almost dropped) and had loads and loads of really sinful but yummy food!!! Ok, I FINALLY went to satisfy my craving for Carl's Junior a.k.a super fattening American food.

There. My ALL TIME FAVORITE!! The Portello Mushroom burger. I is tell you, once you have tried Carl's Junior Portello Mushroom burger, you will NEVER like Burger King's one anymore. Look at the bun, SOAKED with the mushroom gravy!! Goshh!!

Slurrp!! Look at THAT!! Look at all the melted cheese and the generous amounts of mushrooms!!! BK's Mushroom Swiss has a grand total of less than 5 mushrooms can? Nothing compared to Carl's Junior really.

I didn't really enjoy my meal as much as I would actually, cos I had a really bad gastric on that day don't know why also, and it happened all the way till I reached home (at midnight) =(

Anyways, we shopped around ALOT so happened that Marina Square was having a midnight sale on that day, so shopping hours were extended with lots of other special discounts!!

Cufflinks. I FINALLY bought my first cufflinks!!

Office shirt from U2, very cheap only!! It makes me sssooo excited to have bought something at such a cheap price. Haha!! =p

Ok, I admit, I spent ALOT on that day. Bought an office shirt at less than half the original price, a pair of cufflinks, eyeshadow, cheap nail polish, a bag from Tomato Can, a miniature Clinique Simply fragrance from Sasa, and then more sinful FOOOOODDDD!!! Glorious FOOD!!! =D

We had our dinner at Coffee club.

I ordered a baked spaghetti Bologese (yes yes I know, CHEESE AGAIN...)

Its NO DOUBT sinful, but then hor, its also very heavenly!!! I didn't managed to finish it in the end due to my gastric pain tho...

Wanyi ordered Coffee Club's signature dish, the garlic prawn pasta. I wanted to order that too, but I thought it was silly to order that for its pasta only when I don't take prawns. *_*

I chose the smarter way out, I ended up Kapo-ing some from her. Teeheehee. =D

Friends who hang out with me often enough would know that I lllllloooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeee Coffee Club's Ice passion tea, and wouldn't order anything else when I'm there. But for some reason that day, I didn't, and opted for something more sinful. Haha.

This. Another of Coffee Club's signature food. The muddy mud pie. The first layer is made up of coffee ice cream and the second layer is chocolate ice cream. There is a thin base layer of cake like stuff that tastes like oreo, and of course, not forgetting the chocolate syrup dripping down from the top. Gosh... I feel like having it again already.

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On Sunday, I spent a small fortune on my hair. Haha, yeah, I finally decided to go highlight my hair. Haven done that in a long while, some people thought I was crazy, cos the week before, I rebonded my hair.

Anyways.

Initially, my stylist chose a BRIGHT red color for me, it was so bright that the red was almost neon, I couldn't accept that, so he told me he would decrease the intensity of the chemical (not sure what that meant tho)

*Warning, the next two pics looks hideous. No insurance covered if you faint* Haha!

Lion head...

That's my stylist at the back, he's one skinny fella. Anyone interested in doing rebonding, I would recommend that you go to him. Its not very cheap I know, but he is very careful and he does a really good job, taking care of your hair texture at the same time. I'll only let him do rebonding for me, as for other hair services I'm more flexible.

Fast foward to a few hours later.

Not very clear. It actually has streaks of red with copper brown as the base color.

Anyways, I lllllooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee the way my hair turn out really. Man, I feel so like a diva!! Haha!!

I love my hair!!!!! =D

I love my hair!!! I'm feeling pretty, so must take a few more pics. Haha!! This pic is Narcissistic!!

My eyes kinda look scary.... Oh, and did I forget to mention that I love my hair? =D

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Monday came. GOOD food again. I had dinner at Billy Bombers with my brother. Well, not exactly good food actually, its very expensive no doubt, but the food didn't taste that fantastic.

CHEESE fries!! Their cheese fries are nice tho!! We ordered a cheese fries to share. SHIOK!! The amount of melted cheese is generous can? I think it is important that the cheese is enough when it comes to cheese fries, doesn't really matter if you cannot finish heh.

Anyways, according to my brother, their cheese fries seem to have reduced in quantity (which is fine with me, cos I couldn't finish it anyway)

Mushroom burger cos I simply love mushrooms!! Teeheehee =D

My brother and I both ordered a Mushroom burger. Although the cheese was aplenty, it was well, tasteless. Even worse than Burger King's Mushroom Swiss can? The chicken patty was not even a patty, it was just a stab of meat of chicken breast, (a.k.a dry and tasteless).

I'm not quite sure what kinda cheese they used, but its the kind that actually dries up and become solid form when it cools off, and oh, did I mention that the cheese doesn't have any taste? I wonder if it was cheese in the first place. *_*

We both had milkshake which was not bad actually. My bro ordered a oreo milkshake (he tells me I don't know what I have been missing out on by not ordering the same as him -_-) and I opted for a Banana milkshake instead (I love bananas!! >_*)

It was quite a big portion really. I felt like I drank up a whole reservior and still had ONE FULL CUP of it left cos I really couldn't finish. Such a waste. *slaps self*

A burger meal like that with a milkshake and one cheese fries costed us a total of nearly $60!!! Very ex lor!!

Anyways.

Tuesday came and I had Ajisen's Volcano ramen for lunch. Need I even say more? Somebody stop me, I'm really getting out of hand. I overspent BIG time. No, that's an understatement, I literally set fire to money and burnt it!!! DIE!! no $$$$ now. Haha!!

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Yeah, I know I know, this post seem impossibly long. I 've been wanting to blog for so long but am either too lazy or too tired to, so I combined them all into one entry. Haha!!

Sigh. Exams coming, so no more blogging for awhile........