I HATE myself...

Sometimes, the stupid things that I do to screw myself up really amazes me of the degree of stupidity I am capable of. I wonder why time and again it happens DESPITE knowing how important it is and how badly I wanted it.

Sighs.

I've finished my last paper for the semester already, and boy, it was tough. Well, perhaps if I had started a tad earlier and not dilly dallying around, I MIGHT have at least get a decent enough grade for it.

Now, I can only say that I'm prepared to fail it and sit for the supp paper (I wonder if I'm even qualified to sit for that) and great, my transcript will reflect a "Fail" in it.

There. I killed ALL POSSIBLE chances of getting into my "dream" job. I can't believe I did that to myself. How am I ever EVER going to explain to my prospective bosses at the interview that I love and have the passion for this field/industry when my transcript records a "FAIL"?!?!

Somebody congratulate me. I just crushed my own dreams with my own bare hands. Damn, I'm finding it exceedingly impossible to love myself like that.