I'm proud of myself

Really. I never thought I'll ever catch myself saying this. Reason being, I spent the bulk of my life hating myself and feeling insignificant. I shall not go into detail on what constituted to that.

Anyways.

I was just looking back on the past few years of my life and I seriously cannot believe what I have gone through and how I managed to survive it. Work was lousy as you all knew, and I still had to struggle like mad to balance that shit with part time school and rushing for projects and exams.

I'm thankful that I did not go crazy in the process man. I guess, its really what doesn't kills you, makes you stronger. Cliche as it may sounds, but its so darn true.

Luck was not smiling on me either. I wanted badly to get out of my shitty work place and I spent alot of time getting depressed from the NUMEROUS failures at interviews. And seriously, it really didn't help when friends around me couldn't not understand why I was still stuck at my previous job and that why a job search would be that difficult.

Looking back, I guess its really because I was too focused on what I wanted, hence, I couldn't possibly mass apply for every single job opening out there. This of course limits my opportunities. I am very bent on NOT making the mistake of taking up ANY job that comes along the way just to get the fuck out of my previous work place, and sticking to that was damn damn difficult I tell you. I cried, hopped mad, hurt myself, sinked into depression, and emerged a very very bitter person at my previous job.

I guess the only part that really worried me the most is when I began to realize that my previous job had changed me so much to the extent that all the good I had in me were snuffed out. I became so weary of the people, things and the words I or somebody else said. I became like a very volatile substance and I get overly suspicious of people's intentions even at the SLIGHTEST gestures, and its very tiring mentally.

Not to mention that I had to cope with my studies on top of that, I actually flunked one of my units because during that semester, alot of lame, stupid and mandatory events were held by my company and I had to be there despite the fact that I had an exam and lessons to attend.

Well, I'm glad that all that is history. Although I'm not exactly very satisfied with my current job now, I'm glad that at least it offers me opportunities to learn and explore further on what I only could dream of in school previously.

I will be graduating by the end of this year. I have to spend another semester to clear that one unit that I had flunked previously and I hope not too much damage was done on that.

I hope I have finally seen the light at the tunnel. The road was long and difficult and I know I have come a long way. Seriously, I believe that if God brings you to it, he'll bring you through it.

I'm so proud of myself, cos it made me suddenly realize that I'm a tough person, mentally, physically and spiritually tough. I feel as if I have just graduated from life lessons.