I feel like "the end" is in sight

Yes yes, I know. The last time I blogged was in *gasp* October !! Haven had the time nor mood to blog lately. MANY things have happened in my life since the last time I blogged, and well, lets see if I'm able to recount them one by one.

Anyways.

I ended my previous semester on a rather bad note. I would say that I didn't start it well nor followed it thru well either. Part of the reason was due to some complications in my health. I blogged about some breast cancer scare sometime back and well, it isn't exactly over.

Yes, my previous semester. To sum it up, I skipped almost 50% of my classes (for *gasp* both units that I enrolled in) deferred my mid semester exam and yes, deferred one of my final examinations.

Somebody slap me.

I think God is being really nice and forgiving towards me, cause I actually managed to pass the other paper that I sat for WITHOUT really studying for it. Grade of cos wasn't very impressive, but well, what more can I expect.

Sigh.

My deferred exam will be in February next year which means I have 3 papers to take this semester instead of two. Arrrgghhh!! I ALMOST dropped one of the units I enrolled for this semester. Thank goodness I didn't. Sometimes I really hate myself for taking my studies so lightly. Ain't cheap , one lecture costs approximately $400!!

*Makes a mental note to conscientiously drag myself to attend each lecture.*

Anyways.

As I was saying. I haven't exactly been in the pink of health of late. Since the time I noticed some abnormal changes to my breast, I have been receiving little subtle signs from my body that SOMETHING MIGHT BE WRONG.

I decided to seek several other opinions and after several weeks of ding dong-ing around, I was told to seek help with a specialist. I got myself a referral letter to Alexandra Hospital for "further investigation"

Digressing, I initially asked to be referred to SGH, but I was told that the EARLIEST appointment that I could fix was in MARCH 2007!!! I really didn't want to wait and drag things that long, so I asked for other alternatives. Turns out, most of the other government hospitals have a waiting period of at least a month plus or so.

Alexandra was the FASTEST, with waiting time of only 3 weeks, and so I went. The waiting time was terrible I tell you. I was just thinking, what is the point of the government educating the public that early detecting saves lives when the hospital couldn't even grant you a appointment as fast???

3 months waiting time is more that enough for one to die from cancer before the doctor even gets to see me can? And even if I do make it to see the doctor, my situation would have already worsen till its too late for any cure wouldn't it?

Maybe they should change their campaign tact line to: "God-damned early detection MAY save lives" !@%#$*%^(&))!!!!

Anyways. Back to my topic.

Fast forward to a few weeks. I have gone for check up at Alexandra twice since. Speaking of which, when I first stepped into the hospital, a strong sense of fear overwhelmed me. Each time I was at a hospital was to visit a sick relative, but this time I'm the patient, and it certainly didn't help that I was alone.

The first appointment was not very pleasant. At the reception, I literally begged for a female doctor as I was there to see a doctor for some breast condition. The last thing I needed and wanted was to have a male doctor checking my breast for lumps and squeezing my nipples.

Well, I was told that I cannot choose as I am a subsidized patient. Fuck. Subsidized patients not human izzit? Subsidized patients means that we won't feel embarrassed about such issues izzit? Or subsidized patients means that we are NOT ALLOWED the LUXURY for feeling comfortable with our doctor checkup??!!

Crap. We are all females, allocate me a female doctor will die izzit? Anyways. I believe that Karma is everybody's best friend. Enough said. I got an INDIAN MALE doctor.

I shan't go into the details of my check up. I was sent for a blood test, and I had FOUR TUBES OF BLOOD DRAWN FROM ME!! I almost fainted.

The results from the blood test wasn't exactly that alarming, but I had certain hormone levels that fall under the "abnormal" range. I got myself scheduled for a MRI scan sometime in early January next year.

Sigh.

Needless to say, till now, I still have yet to get an official diagnosis for my illness/ailment. I was just telling Phoebe the other day that with all the tests and what not I have to go thru and still have yet to find out wtf is wrong with me, I think, dying actually seems so much easier. Heh.

I really hope all goes well, though I seriously don't know what to expect. You all know how I can really lack the faith that something good can ever happen in my life.

Until then, I'm going to enjoy my holiday trip to Shanghai next week (while I still can).

*Update: My aunt has unfortunately progressed into the final stage of lung cancer. Last Christmas was sad. This Christmas is so gloomy.*

Sigh.