Kamasutra 3D (2014)
10 years ago
Random Updates...
It really has been awhile. Haven't updated for sssooo long man. I made a few, I must say, BOLD resolutions for 2012. One of which I'm still constantly struggling with of course, is to get into the habit of praying more, and not just praying for myself, but for others especially.
I have also re-started my viola lessons with another teacher. This time, the teacher's a he, and he's from Australia. Lessons went not too bad, am really taking it slowly, just correcting my fundamentals such as hand shape, posture, thumb position and bow angle. As I haven't been reading music for awhile, my sight reading skills have really gone rusty. But oh well, its coming back to me bit by bit. :)
Running wise, am really taking it slow. Rebuilding stamina is really tough man. Nonetheless, I proud that I finally managed to do almost 7km non-stop. Perhaps over the weekend, I will attempt to do an 8km run before I start "officially" preparing for my half marathon in April. I'm really glad that the heart and lungs felt in good shape, so now I just need to strengthen the core and my leg muscles.
I guess that's about it for now. Back to work gah. Stupid conference is in about 2 weeks, can't wait to get it over and done with man!
Laters.
Starting from scratch...
So, in about less than a week, I will be running MY LAST EVENT OF THE YEAR. Gah. Enough already. I have gone through 7 conferences in the past 6 months! I'm about to vomit at the word "conference".
I'm so looking forward to a time of eat alot, and exercise ALOT more after the last event. Am probably going to clear all my leaves and timeoffs and park myself at east coast park EVERYDAY to run.
I'm no longer as fit as I was last year really. My stamina for long distances is gone. I need to start from scratch to slowly build it up. Last week's 5 km run was not good. The lungs hurt and I had to stop and walk along the way. This week is better, 6km non-stop, but in shorter time too. Not good enough of cos since I have a half marathon to complete next week. But at least its an improvement!
Can't wait to begin a lifestyle of work-exercise balance! I really really need to lose weight already.
Heaven in my mouth!
Earl Grey Choco cake from Flor Patisserie!
This stuff is awesome! Susan brought me to this cake shop that was near her workplace. It's at Duxton Hill, and it was opened by some Japanese chef by the name of Yamashita.
Decided to try the earl grey choco cake because I simply adore the smell of earl grey! Man, was it good! I was literally squealing in orgasmic delight at every mouth!
They had fresh bananas in the middle and the little choco bits together with the slightly crispy "crust" on the sides of the cake "oozed" out fumes of earl grey like tiny bits of mouth freshers when you bite into them!
So much earl grey heavenly goodness! I thought I saw rainbows and fireworks with each mouthful! :D
This doesn't come cheap tho ($6.50), but definitely worth every cent spent! Calories well spent as well!
Am already planning my next trip there!
My very own events timetable! :)
28/05/11 - Sundown Marathon 42 km
3/07/11 - Great Eastern Women 10 km
28/08/11 - Adidas King of the Road 16.8 km
4/09/11 - Army Half Marathon 21 km
4/12/11 Standard Chartered Marathon 42 km
For once, my very OWN events timetable! :)
Another 42km under my belt!
Finally. After kicking my ass in 2010, the medal is finally mine this year. Although this is the second marathon I am completing, it was definitely different this time as it was at this very marathon, the sundown marathon where I failed.
This was also an emotional day for me, as I could totally feel God's grace. Many people would know that I totally did not train at all for this marathon. I had just started the new job which kept me incredibly busy, and then I was battling with a bad stomach for weeks on end.
To be honest, I really wasn't expecting to even complete it as running only made the stomach feel worse.
But then, I not only completed. I achieved my personal best at this marathon as well! I completed a good 50 mins ahead of my last marathon timing.
Ok, I know perhaps the weather did play a huge part as well, at least I did not have to battle with sun burn, and I did not have a mental breakdown as with the stand chart. But it matters not.
The last 5km was the longest 5km of my life. A churchmate who was awake catching the football match, saw my facebook updates and asked me if I was still running. I told him yes, and asked him to pray for me.
So he prayed for me on facebook and can I just say that the last 5km was very emotional for me? Another churchmate mentioned that I had divine intervention.
Actually, I believe that He was running the full 42km with me, cheering me on when I could no longer, motivating me when it got lonely, and giving me strength for the last 5km. How else can I explain achieving my personal best without any training and battling a bad stomach for weeks leading up to the night before the marathon?
I had secretly wanted to give up. Thanks for not letting me give up! I love my God.
Whee!!
Am glad! A friend asked me today if she can take part in the next stand chart marathon with me! I finally found someone who is willing to run the 42 km distance with me!!!!
Haha! On another note, finally managed to cover some decent distance today after almost 3 weeks of a bad stomach which really put me out from any serious distances. Am so grateful and thankful for that really.
My only hope for the marathon on Saturday is to complete it. Please pray for me!
Never, never, never give up!
I haven't blogged in awhile, but I really don't have much to say and work's been crazy. I must say, when you earn more, much more is expected of you.
Anyways, I have been battling with an upset stomach for the 3rd week now already. I don't know what is it, but its always so bloated that I feel as if it's going to burst. Seen the doc, and got some meds, but the stomach did not seem to react to them. Sigh.
The marathon is this weekend. Anyone ever ran with a bloated stomach? I haven't gotten down to any serious training this time around with the workload and then the upset stomach. Am not even sure if I can actually run, let alone complete it.
But I'm going to try anyhow. Because I'm a runner, and runners don't give up. :)
"They that sow in tears shall reap in joy..."
'They that sow in tears shall reap in joy...'
Poem by Clara Jacob 1875
Sow ye the precious seed of life
Though all around oppose
God who the seed to thee has given
Can conquer all thy foes
Sow ye the seed, be not dismayed
Now is the time to sow
To scatter fast the precious seed
Short is the time below
Sow ye the seed although the ground
A barren waste may lie
The precious seed is God's own care
He will not let it die
Sow ye the seed although earth's tares
Are round thee everywhere
Thou knowest not, the little seed
May spring and grow e'en there
Sow ye the seed although the heart
Stony and hard may prove
Maybe the stony heart may yield
With faithful words of love
Sow ye the seed, although with grief
The heart is bowed low
Go tell of him who grief and pain
Bore for us here below
Sow ye the seed, the reaping time
Is quickly drawing near
When all the sheaves we'll see above
That we have gathered here
'Tis then our life of toil and care
Our sowing time will cease
And on our loving Saviour's breast
We'll find eternal peace
About the new job...
So it's been slightly over a month at the new job. Work's been busy, and filled with quite alot of uncertainty I must say. My co is currently experiencing a wave of changes, and it feels as if we are going through a phase in the cycle where there is some sort of a manpower "renewal".
There have been lots of resignations and new staff around me, and yes, I am a tad worried, as I'm now the only person left in the events department once my other colleagues finish serving their notices.
I have a boss who is busier than Obama I think. To give you an indication of how things are, of the month odd that I have been here, the total no. of hours I spent with her added together amounts to less than 24 hours.
She does not have time to guide me or sometimes, even to give proper instructions. All the stuff I did and had to do were guesses on my part, and asking and looking around what my colleagues did. Thankfully, with the training from my previous job, did help me to make "clever guesses".
Still the learning curve is steep as healthcare conferences is not my forte afterall, and honestly, I don't like working like this. Not one bit at all.
Despite that, thankfully, I have a sane boss, who, so far, does seem to be a good boss. She would jump in and "protect" us from getting pushed around by external parties. Also, she cares enough to make sure that the workload does not overwhelm any of us.
That, is something I do appreciate.
Close friends have been trying to convince me that I should probably start looking for another job, as mass resignations often are tell-tale signs of problems with either the management, the organisation, or the workload.
So far, I think I like my boss, tho colleagues have been complaining about some of her quirks. I have not personally experienced any of that yet, or maybe, after you came out from hell, your tolerance for nonsense gets higher?
Workload is crazy actually. Looking at all the things my colleagues have to do, soon, it will be my turn nearing to the event date. I hope we get replacement staff like real soon, else all the conferences listed on the calendar is going to fall on my lap. Not fun.
I'm on the fence actually. I'm not really sure if I want to stay on, or to find another job. On one hand, I feel like I want to help my boss, tho I do feel that perhaps, its not within my means.
Also, I don't have the heart to resign on her now especially after her telling me how upset and demoralised she felt with all the resignations. On the other hand, I'm afraid that the longer I stay, the more emotions I'll invest, and then it'll be harder to leave.
Sigh. :(
"Kyrie Eleison"
Haven't updated my blog in a while. A couple of things have changed since and I just was not in the mood to blog.
I should be in bed now but I could't get to sleep. My thoughts and prayers are with Japan in this dreadful time of post disaster grieving, healing and rebuilding of lives as the nation struggles to return to normalcy.
The recent spate of natural disasters' got me really afraid actually and could not help but call to mind a verse: Matthew 24: 3-8.
3As He was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to Him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things happen, and what will be the sign of Your coming, and of the end of the age?”4And Jesus answered and said to them, “See to it that no one misleads you. 5“For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and will mislead many. 6“You will be hearing of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not frightened, for those things must take place, but that is not yet the end. 7“For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and in various places there will be famines and earthquakes.8“But all these things are merely the beginning of birth pangs.
The next day after I looked up this verse, a singer artiste that I am following on facebook posted a screen shot of this exact same passage that she was reading on her iphone. That sent shivers down my spine, and the first thing that came to my mind was, "Lord, have mercy."
Today, I was at church and the choir sang a really beautiful hymn which totally relates to what I have been feeling of late. I thought I'll share it here:
"Kyrie Eleison (Most Holy One)"Kyrie eleison, Kyrie eleison.Lord, have mercy,Lord have mercy on me, on me.Christe eleison, Christe eleison.Christ, have mercy,Christ have mercy on me, on me.Most Holy One, Father, Righteous Son,You who called my name beforeYou spoke the worlds to be.From Your place on high,Hear a sinner's cry for mercy,Lord, I pray: Kyrie,Kyrie eleison, Kyrie eleison.Lord, have mercy,Lord, have mercy on me, on me.Christ have mercy,Lord, have mercy on me, on me.Lord, I pray. Kyrie Kyrie.
Please do pray for Japan of course, and also many others who are affected by various natural disasters that may not have made it into international newspapers, and intercede for them.
Shalom.
FREEDOM!! At LONG last!!
Today is WAS my last day at that h*ll hole of a company! I'm glad I could finally step out of the place and there is NO LOOKING BACK! At my previous other jobs, last days were sometimes a tad emotional especially when you have some colleagues or habits even that you miss.
But here at this place, I totally felt RELIEVED that the nightmare has all come to an end! I guess it also helps that all the people I cared about in the co have already left haha!
Anyways. Moving RAPIDLY on!
I'm loving my newfound freedom and am so looking forward to a brand new beginning! Life can only get better! 2011! BRAND NEW beginning!
In the meantime, I am going to enjoy my much awaited break before I start the new job!
Two forces in this world
I realised a little something, and this is just a random observation. To be honest, this isn't something that just suddenly hit me, actually, I've noticed it before, but just did not think much of it then.
So anyways.
I figured that there must be at least two main forces in this world. The good, and the bad in essence. Nothing surprising right? Actually, I'm just conveniently classifying it, I realised that for every negative energy/force/person there will be positive ones as well.
For the longest time, I realised that this always seems to happen, whenever I get to know a particular someone, or am drawn to a particular person who happens to be bubbly, lively and in general, very positive, I will someone get to know someone else who happens to be an exact opposite.
It is eerie but true! This does not only happens in my social circles, but also at my work place! Two bosses, one immensely positive, and another the exact opposite and in EXTREME degrees too!
I started looking around me and realised that the same "principle" exists elsewhere as well. In product development, in media, in EVERYTHING.
I give you an example. I LLLOOOVVVEEE my care bears. I used to think they were so gayish and so, let's just say, not realistic. But that's besides the point. I think most people know that care bears are about all the positive things in life.
Like, love, sunshine, cheer, good luck, etc, etc, etc. If you think back to the developing stage of the care bear characters, SOMEONE OUT THERE must have thought of all these when he/her created the care bear characters right?
And that somebody must to some extend, believe or at least HOPE for all those elements in life.
On the other hand, we have the more negative characters as well, they totally talk about death, about emo-ness or in general, just sick topics (I don't want to name any brands lest I get sued). But you get the drift!
Oh well. Just food for thought!
Random
I am actually quite free as you can tell. So I thought I'll just post a quick update. This is a tad old news actually, cos it happened a while back, just that I was not in the frame of mind to share at that time with all the problems at work.
So yea, it's nothing surprising actually. I signed up for the sundown marathon in end May this year. It will be my 3rd marathon so far, and my 2nd one done during the night.
The previous 2 were not that great, with the focus really on just completing it, so I am hoping that this time, I will be able to finish with a better timing this time around.
That means I will have to really push myself to train HARDER. Anyways, since I will be getting the whole month of February off before I start the new job, I guess I'll really have all the time in the world to train. :)
Laters.
Things are looking good!
So, I have already tendered my resignation and am currently serving my 3rd week of notice. Can I just say how awesome it feels to not give a $^&*^$*%!!! what stunts and bullshit that goes on?
I still have about 8 more work days to go and I can't wait! It's funny how after going through 3.5 long years of sheer misery, the last 8 days seem so ridiculously grueling.
Anyways.
I must say that since tendering, I did indeed feel alot more happier and am definitely more cheerful. There is a certain gladness in the heart that gives me that smile in your sleep kinda feeling.
Of course, its not that things at work have gotten any better, it still is crap (actually its much more crappier now) but I realized that I no longer take certain people and the things that certain people do that seriously anymore.
Honestly, I have myself to blame in part for my misery. Friends who know me know that I can be overly serious at times, and truth be told, I really took the things that certain people say/do VERY SERIOUSLY which was why I was so freaking miserable.
I must say that I don't regret my decision to leave at all. I really needed to break the cycle, and it was definitely one that was a downward spiral. Deciding to leave really opened my eyes to alot of detrimental habits, environment and situations that I was really too blind to see previously. So in a way I was glad that things turned out so bad as that literally forced me to make the decision to leave.
It was totally the situation of leaving is tough, but staying is way tougher.
I like the purge of negative energy and the feeling of hope that things are only going to get better! For the first time in a long long while, I actually felt that tomorrow will only get better and I'm EXCITED!
Also, I found a job while serving notice, and will be due to start work on 1st March after I sign the appointment letter tomorrow. So I am actually going to get the entire month of February off before starting work. Am so looking forward to a decent break with ECP outings with Susan!!
Oh, and did I forget to mention that I am going away for a trip to Hong Kong and Macau with the family in the 3rd week of February? EXCITEMENT!
Things are looking good finally!! I thank God for His grace to show me the detrimental ways I have been living in and setting me on the road to recovery. I feel blessed!
Good riddance to bad rubbish
I cannot wait to leave my current co. Really. The more things I find out each day, the more disgusted I feel. I'm trying terribly hard not to feel bitter in the midst of it all really.
I actually came across a job ad that my co put up with recruit express and apparently, they are looking for someone to replace the position I vacated. They are looking for an "EVENTS MANAGER". I read the job description and realised that it is EVERYTHING that I am doing right now or have been doing for the past THREE AND THE HALF YEARS.
And that's not the best part yet. The best part is, they are offering a salary range of between 3k to 5k!!!
Can you imagine?!
For the past THREE AND A HALF YEARS, I have been working under the title of ACCOUNT freaking COORDINATOR with an ACCOUNT freaking COORDINATOR's pay and doing the job of an EVENTS MANAGER.
Seriously, WTF.
I can't believe that I have been so underpaid for so long and so overworked. Don't even get me started on how they haven't given me bonuses all these years and how unappreciative they have been to the point of even complaining that I go for lunch everyday and knock off at 6 sharp.
#$^%^&^&%!!!!
I bet they must have been laughing all the way to the bank each month. I'm probably their best deal they have had in a long while yet.
Thank goodness I did not buy in to the idea of working over lunch or skipping lunch in order to complete more work. That would have made me an even bigger fool in EVERY aspect.
Oh, and did I forget to mention, a colleague of mine just told me this, "no matter how well you do the handover, NOBODY's going to know the thing better than you cos you did all the leg work. SO YOU SHOULD GO FOR THE PITCH MEETING." And she also told me NOT to tell the potential client that I'm leaving.
Seriously, this is total crap. I feel my work life is so freaking colorful that I could probably made a drama series out of it.
Anyways. Good riddance to bad rubbish. I know this may sound wrong, but I take comfort in the fact that there is such a thing as poetic justice in this world.
PFFFF
Epiphany
During epiphany week, I had an epiphany. A tad late actually, but I'm glad it came nonetheless. Many of my friends who know me, know that I am someone who craves for job satisfaction. And for the longest time, I have been searching for that so-called "dream job" or "calling".
I actually believed that I am not feeling satisfied/fulfilled/happy because I wasn't doing what I was meant to be doing, and did of course kinda think that as long as I can find that so-called "dream job" I would be happy.
Nothing wrong with really wanting to find that "dream job" or to find my calling in life. In fact, there really isn't anything wrong with seeking job satisfaction. But I was so obsessed with finding it that it totally stressed me out that I have still yet to find that job when I'm about to hit my 30s.
It definitely didn't help that I didn't know what I wanted to do in life, and along the way, I have learned that doing the things that you are good at doing, doesn't necessarily make one happy.
On that note, I ended 2010 with a heavy heart. Alot of things happened and I was starting to really think about where do I go from here. Leaving my current job took alot of courage especially when I was leaving without a job.
I prayed hard and went into a state of anxiety. Christmas came and went, and still nothing could calm my fears.
I had an epiphany yesterday when a job offer suddenly brought to mind the Christmas sermon we had on Christmas day.
I can't really remember the topic of pastor Melvin's sermon, but I remembered a story he told of a man who had for years, been searching for the perfect Christmas. Apparently, this was a true story, and it was a reflection that he had.
Being married with kids, this guy had for many years wanted what he deemed as a perfect Christmas with just him and his wife. But every year, they were unable to get away because of various commitments.
During one particular Christmas, a mini drama unfolded in his living room. One of the presents under the Christmas tree caught fire. His instinct was to put out the fire by stepping on it, but he forgot that he was wearing furry lion head bedroom slippers. That made the fire worse.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, the family put out the fire and it left a mess in the living room. So much for a perfect Christmas.
But he started reflecting on how he had for years, been so obsessed with wanting that perfect Christmas that he had totally missed the entire message of Christmas.
He went on to say that honestly, the Christmases that he has had so far, though not perfect, was good, and felt that perhaps, nevermind perfect, good is enough. He thought about the circumstances surrounding that first Christmas and felt that after all, the first Christmas was not perfect either.
That got me thinking abit last night. Perhaps, like his case, there isn't such a thing as a "dream job" after all, and perhaps, even if someday I land myself in what I deem as a "dream job", I would not find happiness either.
It did suddenly seem like I have spent so much time and energy searching for that "dream job", and I perhaps, I have totally missed the whole point about being happy, having contentment and fulfillment in life.
Oh well, food for thought. It's delayed since the message came during Christmas, but I'm glad at least it came. =)
At long last...
This post is a wee bit late actually. I FINALLY tendered my resignation on the first day I went back to work.
I can no longer take it any more. I am tired of feeling guilty for going for lunch, feeling guilty about taking leaves and going on trips, tired of worrying what awaits me from the boss when I don't reply my emails almost immediately when I travel.
Lowly paid and overworked. I felt a tad heartbroken the other day when I realised that the co did in fact give out performance bonuses. In my THREE and a HALF years here, I've NEVER gotten any, and I thought that the co did not have the habit of giving anything else more than AWS.
I think about the projects that I worked so hard for, all the over the night working, and all the time I spent ALL BY MYSELF with no support from anyone, I feel sorry for myself. Really. And as if that wasn't enough, I have to cover the assess of my colleagues, and sometimes even do THEIR JOBS for them, only to find out that they got performance bonuses.
Like, WHERE IS THE PERFORMANCE?! I can't believe that I allowed myself to be so shortchanged for so freaking long, and seriously, why the hell did I even care so much about the company? GAH. Disgusted.
Good riddance. Anyways.
I have not found a job yet, but I do need a break quite badly. I do hope to land something decent before money runs out tho!
I haven't quite decided what I want to do next, but in the meantime, I'm going to start my eat, sleep, eat, sleep, run, rewind and repeat cycle.
Cheers to a brand new beginning!
2010 is finally over. I'm glad to move on to a new year and hopefully, this year would be a much better and productive year for me. For the most part of 2010, it felt like it was on a fast forward mode for me.
Things were happening real quick especially with work being so hectic, changes in management, which inevitably mean changes in the way we do things. New management means new rules, new temperament, new expectations, new everything.
I did not enjoy 2010 actually. Though I must say, that 2010 did indeed see me travelling about mostly the ASEAN region quite abit for work. It was indeed an eye opener to experience the vast difference in culture and the way our Asian neighbors do business in general.
2010 was also a struggle for me too. It was a season or rather, trend of last minute events coming my way. The stress and pressure cooker environment that I had to work in for the large part, all by myself was daunting and traumatic.
I was glad tho that after much persuasion, my boss did finally agree to let another colleague work on events with me, but that opened yet another chapter of problems.
With the additional headcount, boss was expecting technically for us to cover the jobs of 2 persons each. But as I was doing the jobs of as many as 9 - 10 persons myself, he is in fact expecting us to cover the workload of 18 - 20 persons.
And you know, with a person new on the job, that realistically isn't going to happen.
Of course my new partner is a smart girl who has initiative and learns pretty fast too, but it doesn't help at all in managing expectations from the boss and the fact that all of a sudden, people become so critical with regards to how resources are being used, and profitability.
I kinda feel that it was my fault actually. I have spoiled the market in the beginning, and everything just snowballed from there.
My world came crashing down on me during one of the events I was working on. A major screw up led to a series of ugly situations, and one problem after another. Can't really blame anyone actually. Millions of oversights on my part due to dips in my productivity level of course.
Sigh. How I wished I had raised the alarm early in the beginning. My friend is right, I ought to learn how to manage myself better.
Sigh. What's done cannot be undone. To be honest, I can't get over it, and have been deeply affected by it till now. The feeling of letting people down feels totally disgusting that it makes me nauseous. Truth is, I am finding it difficult to face my client, who happens also to be my friend.
Anyhow, I am glad to have 2010 over and done with. A church mate I met after watch night covenant renewal service said to me: may this new year be a year of personal bests. Indeed, I long to start anew, a brand new beginning, a year of personal bests not just in terms of running.
I want to start 2011 right in the right place, with the right frame of mind as well. Decisions have been made and I pray for grace to keep to my promises.
Have a blessed new year everyone!
*P/S: EL, if you are reading this, I'm terribly sorry, I know probably that no words can make up for all that has happened.
Is loneliness really a choice? WARNING: Emo post.
A pastor once said in his sermon to the singles out there, that loneliness is a choice. Is it?
For the most part of my life, I enjoy doing many things alone. I loved spending time alone, trekking alone, going for long runs alone, going for meals at restaurants alone, shopping alone, going for movies/concerts/plays alone, cooking alone and even going to church alone.
People who know me might think that it's normal coming from me since I am such an anti-social person. Guess what? It actually isn't.
I have always craved attention as a kid. I enjoyed the company of my close friends, classmates, and favorite relatives, etc. But for some reason, close friends and relatives alike either did not enjoyed my company as much as I did theirs, or they simply did not have that time for me.
So in time to come, I learnt to be independent and learned to live my life without them cos they are so often unavailable, and not surprisingly, we grew apart. To the point where, indifference sets in.
I must admit that the MANY setbacks in life as a kid helped me learn to become more dependent on myself. When I was younger, I wouldn't go to movies alone. I would wait for a friend to watch it with me, and sometimes, actually many a times, I would wait until the movie is over only to find that that particular friend have already watched it with their bfs or their gang of good friends.
I wouldn't go to concerts or plays alone cos everyone else around me had a partner. It was just too daunting to go alone. I would wait for MONTHS to go to a gym, cos I could not find a gym buddy who had time to go every week consistently. And I waited an entire year for my bro who said he wanted to take piano lessons. Of cos, a year later, he changed his mind.
After about almost 20 years of living life like that, I decided if I waited for company, I would probably missed out on many things in life. So I taught myself to live without company, I made friends with loneliness.
I started doing many things alone. I watched concerts, plays and movies alone. I ran alone, took part in marathons alone, completed a marathon alone, took up viola lessons alone, went back to church alone, went to gym alone and went on a weight loss regime alone.
But every now and then, I still feel incredibly lonely, especially at this age where all my friends are married and are starting families of their own.
In fact, the only people who would care about spending time with me are probably my parents. But how much time am I left with them? I'm actually afraid to think what life would be like when they are gone.
Honestly, I long for people who shares my love for music, friends I can bounce ideas off with, friends who can accompany me on the piano for a piece or something, who understand when music hits the soul deep. Or even friends who could understand the joys and pains of running, who kicks your butt every now and then when there is no motivation to run, etc.
But, I am my best friend and worst enemy. Sigh. What am I doing wrongly?
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